I'm Moving To Mexico

This morning a friend sent me this letter and I thought it was pretty good, and oh so true. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Dear President Obama,
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for health reasons and I would like to ask you to assist me. We are planning on just walking across the border, skipping all the legal stuff like passports, Visa's immigration quotas and laws. I am sure they handle those things the same way you do here so, would you mind telling your buddy president Calderon that I am on my way over. Please let him know that once we are all there we will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my whole family.
2. English speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether we use those services or not.
3. All Mexican government forms printed in english.
4. I will need my children taught spanish by an english speaking teacher.
5. Tell their schools they will need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. My children should see an American flag on at least one flag pole outside the school.
7. The schools need to plan on feeding my children breakfast and lunch for free.
8. My wife and I will need Mexican driver's license so we can get easy access to the government services.
9. Let them know I do plan on getting a car but I do not plan on getting any insurance and I probably will not make any attempt to learn the traffic laws there.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers did not get the memo about my family, please have at least one officer in each car that can speak english.
11. I plan on putting the flag on my house, my car and have a huge celebration on the 4th of July. I do not want any complaints or harassment from the locals.
12. I also will need a good job but I do not want to pay taxes.
13. Please have their president tell all the Mexican people to be nice to us and never say critical things about us.
14. My family will also need free food stamps.
15. Naturally we expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits although I do not plan on paying any Mexican taxes.
17. Please arrange so the Mexican government pays us $4500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes! I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so I will get a monthly income when I retire, even though I will never pay into their system.

I know this will be an easy request because you already do all this and more for all his people that walk over to the US from Mexico. I am sure President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.